Can I get a hit of oxytocin?

The instructor at our baby care and feeding class this afternoon was maniacal about two things.

1. Exclusive breastfeeding, at least for the first six months. I agree.

2. Skin-to-skin contact, especially in the two hours immediately after birth. I agree.

She was also adamant, although with a little less conviction, about the bonding that can take place between baby and dad during the first hours after birth. In theory, dad is supposedly just as capable of enjoying those precious cuddles with baby and experiencing the bliss of an oxytocin rush (a.k.a love).

As I watched a video of mother and baby experiencing the magic of those first moments of skin-to-skin contact, discovering each other, finding comfort in the each other’s gaze and scent, and nourishing each other’s soul, I couldn’t help but think that however deeply I loved my baby girl, it would not be fueled by the same primal intensity.

For now, I’m not envious, just curious. And I want THAT!

46 days to go!

What’s dad’s value-add (in the first month)?

Cover the last night feed with pumped milk so mom can get some rest.

Sterilize the feeding bottles, at the end of each day or as often as needed.

Make sure mom has a glass of water nearby whenever she’s breastfeeding.

Do laundry every day (note: keep soiled baby clothes soaking in a bucket of water until it goes in the wash).

Apparently, these are the ways in which I can be most helpful in the first weeks and months after birth (based on my own poll of new moms, n=2). Now, I’m no more narcissistic than the next guy, but is there nothing else I can do during one of the most critical periods of our daughter’s life?

Is that really the full extent of dad’s value-add?

Any and all suggestions welcome from moms, dads and interested bystanders. PLEASE!

In the mean time, I’m going to be the best trained baby CPR-giver there ever was. BTW, baby CPR class was incredibly informative, and somewhat terrifying. Even if the 1 in 15,000 odds mean that we hopefully won’t need to put the theory into practice, it’s a non-zero possibility and could mean the difference between life and death. I’m definitely going back for the child CPR class in a year.

60 days to go.

Is there no room for mistakes?

“This is the best advice I can give you about being a dad to a girl – spend LOTS of time with her.  You’ll be the first man she falls in love with and the one who teaches her how she should be treated…”

WTF? That’s a LOT of pressure, no?

Before my so-called friend shared those words of wisdom with me, I was worried about things like competing with my neighbors for those precious few kindergarten spots at our local elementary school, or having to quit my non-profit work and go back to management consulting to pay for private school if we don’t get a spot.

Ha!

Now I’ve got some real worries, like screwing up all my daughter’s future relationships by not being there for her the one time she needs me most. That is truly the most terrifying thought I have ever had. Ever.

I’m hastily reading “Touchpoints Birth to 3, your Child’s Emotional and Behavioral Development” by Brazelton. This class is not going to be graded on a curve.

67 days to go.