The instructor at our baby care
and feeding class this afternoon was maniacal about two things.
1. Exclusive breastfeeding, at
least for the first six months. I agree.
2. Skin-to-skin contact,
especially in the two hours immediately after birth. I agree.
She was also adamant, although
with a little less conviction, about the bonding that can take place between
baby and dad during the first hours after birth. In theory, dad is supposedly
just as capable of enjoying those precious cuddles with baby and experiencing
the bliss of an oxytocin rush (a.k.a love).
As I watched a video of mother
and baby experiencing the magic of those first moments of skin-to-skin contact,
discovering each other, finding comfort in the each other’s gaze and scent, and
nourishing each other’s soul, I couldn’t help but think that however deeply I
loved my baby girl, it would not be fueled by the same primal intensity.
For now, I’m not envious, just
curious. And I want THAT!
46 days to go!
I actually have learned quite a bit about Oxytocin for other reasons....and yes, men can experience it similar to women....and women and men can have challenges experiencing the "hormone of hugs" based on their own life experiences. For instance, this may be too much info, but women who have been the victims of rape may not have the oxytocin experience. The botom line being...aside from the breast feeding, you can "HAVE THAT"! Testosterone does have an inhibiting effect on oxytocin but it doesn't mean that men or women with higher than normal levels of testosterone can't experience oxytocin once the proverbial "ball is rolling".
ReplyDeleteWhile I have not experienced motherhood, I have plenty of friends (women) who have and have not breast fed for various reasons....some women just couldn't make it happen. As an outside observer, caring for these friends of mine, and listening to what they feel and have opinions about, I think an important thing is to recognize that it is ok if breast feeding doesn't happen bec that heavy pressure to breast feed at a very vulnerable and emotional time for the mother can really be upsetting.
So exciting!
YAY for Machang!
I second Christyne's thoughts on breastfeeding...while its so healthy (physically and psychologically) for the baby and the mother, there are also many reasons why some women end up unable to breastfeed (issues of production, nipple-shape, etc). And there are already so many pressures on new parents (with every book claiming they have *the* method of sleep-training, sign-language, language acquisition) that it seems like there are a million ways you can be doing it all wrong in just the first 6 months. Especially because its all so new to you, and that you're tired already. So some of the pressure to breastfeed (and the glares and uninvited advice I've seen some give to new parents) needs to be tempered by the fact that everyone's bodies, needs and babies are just a bit different, and that parents need above all to do whats right for them and their child.
ReplyDeleteAlso, that skin-to-skin contact continues to be great for the baby in the first few weeks, to comfort and soothe the babe...and Dad's can definitely do some of that, which can help a breast-feeding-every-couple-of-hours partner get some sleep too
I agree, that feeling is not just for moms! When our son was born, I was still in a daze (exhaustion, drugs from unplanned C-section). But the instant we heard Arthur cry, my husband had the biggest ear-to-ear smile I've ever seen. He became a dad instantly. It was incredible.
ReplyDeleteRajesh you can get oxytocin from meditation (just Google oxytocin and you'll find plenty of corroboration). In fact that's what the loving-kindness heart-chakra-centered meditation practice of numerous Buddhist traditions relies on. How else do you think they can get people to give up all worldly possessions and don robes? It's the healthy ecstasy.
ReplyDeletehttp://manjitsandhu.wordpress.com/2012/02/02/can-meditation-enhance-the-production-of-oxytocin-thereby-leading-to-a-better-relationship-between-men-and-women/